![\"Alone](\"https:\/\/ioadvisory.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/2017-04-14-Alone.jpg\")
<\/a>In reality, however, there is no timeline for when a person\u2019s mourning stops if it ever does. Unfortunately \u201cbereavement leave\u201d does have a beginning and an end. In most organizations, it\u2019s approximately 3 – 5 days. This clearly isn\u2019t enough time to work through an overwhelming loss.\u00a0Yet, each and every day thousands of Canadians wake up, get dressed and walk into their job after losing a parent, spouse, sibling or God-forbid a child. After losing someone it is difficult to be present and sociable in informal situations, but to continue to be a focused, productive worker is an entirely different struggle.<\/p>\nPerhaps dealing with death and grief is something you had to learn early on in your life. Maybe you\u2019ve been fortunate and haven\u2019t been to a single funeral. Either way, eventually, loss\u00a0is a part of life. Yet, learning to function and be an effective employee can prove difficult after the loss of a loved one. It\u2019s clearly an uncomfortable topic, and it\u2019s one that isn\u2019t discussed within the workplace unless it suddenly affects you or a colleague directly.<\/p>\n
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So here are some guidelines that may ease the transition back into your work environment after a devastating loss:<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\nBe Gentle with Yourself – Death is a Passage for you too.<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n![\"Take](\"https:\/\/ioadvisory.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/2017-04-14-Take-the-time-to-take-care-Back-to-work-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a>Take the time you need<\/p><\/div>\n
Take the time to take care of your needs before anything else. Of course, in an ideal world, an employee could decide how long they need to be away from their job, but that isn\u2019t always possible. So self-care in other ways, such as breathing exercises, therapy, yoga\/ meditation, going for walks or to the gym and getting a healthy amount of sleep each night is vital. A nourished body and healthy mind are key to slowly getting your strength and willingness to go back to work.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\n<\/h4>\nBe Honest<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nA death in your family or the loss of a loved one is not the time to bottle up your feelings and\/or needs. It is crucial that you be real with your staff, and or superiors about what you can handle, even if this shows some of your (understandable) vulnerability. Being open about taking more time off might be an option, such as taking leave for your health, or vacation time if necessary. You may need to put in shorter work weeks for a while.\u00a0 Seeking extra support from a trustworthy co-worker who may be able to help by proofreading your reports or handling some of the extra workload until you can focus better may be a good short-term strategy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You Don\u2019t Have to Talk About It <\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n![\"Two](\"https:\/\/ioadvisory.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/2017-04-12Be-gentle-with-yourself-Back-to-work-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nIt\u2019s hard enough to walk back into a work environment where everybody can see your eyes are rimmed red from days of crying. What is even tougher is trying to put on that brave face while being bombarded with sympathy and countless condolences. It might be wise to let HR or your boss know how you\u2019d like to return, or rather what you do not want to discuss with your co-workers. You\u00a0may find it less overwhelming when you let them know ahead of time.\u00a0\u00a0And, they can possibly prep the staff into a more graceful welcoming.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\nFind a Safe Space<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nJust when you thought you had no more tears left, a sad song comes on the radio from the cubicle behind you, and you can\u2019t keep the \u201cugly cry\u201d off your face. It\u2019s bound to happen. There is no shame in it. But, let\u2019s be honest\u00a0— most of us prefer to shed our tears in\u00a0private. So, if you have an office with a door that\u2019s great. Simply close it along with the blinds and allow yourself some quiet moments to grieve. But, if you are in a cubicle or an open space what can you do? The washroom is an option to clear your mind and splash some cold water on your face, or maybe take the stairs of your building and go for a much needed early lunch break.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\nDon\u2019t Blame the Job<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nIt is common for people mourning a death\u00a0to project their sad or angry feelings onto the people and places around them. Often those who have experienced a death in the family want to flee from their routine entirely. They feel too many triggers or memories associated with their loved one. \u00a0Ask yourself if before the loss you were happily fulfilled at work?\u00a0If you only loathe the job now<\/em>\u00a0it might be beneficial to take a step back to analyze if there\u2019s a valid reason to quit. It could be part of your grieving process and really has very little do with the organization or your role. So talk to close friends, family, and co-workers before making any hasty life changes. If possible, give yourself a time to adjust to your new normal before making any huge changes personally or professionally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Note, years after publishing this blog article, I came across “It\u2019s Time to Rethink Corporate Bereavement Policies<\/a>” in Harvard Business Review (Oct. 2020) so I’ve added it as a potential resource.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Want to discuss any of this information?<\/strong> Please feel free to contact me by email<\/a>, phone<\/a>, or via direct message on Twitter<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>, or LinkedIn<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
<\/a>Take the time you need<\/p><\/div>\n
Take the time to take care of your needs before anything else. Of course, in an ideal world, an employee could decide how long they need to be away from their job, but that isn\u2019t always possible. So self-care in other ways, such as breathing exercises, therapy, yoga\/ meditation, going for walks or to the gym and getting a healthy amount of sleep each night is vital. A nourished body and healthy mind are key to slowly getting your strength and willingness to go back to work.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\n<\/h4>\nBe Honest<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nA death in your family or the loss of a loved one is not the time to bottle up your feelings and\/or needs. It is crucial that you be real with your staff, and or superiors about what you can handle, even if this shows some of your (understandable) vulnerability. Being open about taking more time off might be an option, such as taking leave for your health, or vacation time if necessary. You may need to put in shorter work weeks for a while.\u00a0 Seeking extra support from a trustworthy co-worker who may be able to help by proofreading your reports or handling some of the extra workload until you can focus better may be a good short-term strategy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You Don\u2019t Have to Talk About It <\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/a><\/p>\nIt\u2019s hard enough to walk back into a work environment where everybody can see your eyes are rimmed red from days of crying. What is even tougher is trying to put on that brave face while being bombarded with sympathy and countless condolences. It might be wise to let HR or your boss know how you\u2019d like to return, or rather what you do not want to discuss with your co-workers. You\u00a0may find it less overwhelming when you let them know ahead of time.\u00a0\u00a0And, they can possibly prep the staff into a more graceful welcoming.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\nFind a Safe Space<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nJust when you thought you had no more tears left, a sad song comes on the radio from the cubicle behind you, and you can\u2019t keep the \u201cugly cry\u201d off your face. It\u2019s bound to happen. There is no shame in it. But, let\u2019s be honest\u00a0— most of us prefer to shed our tears in\u00a0private. So, if you have an office with a door that\u2019s great. Simply close it along with the blinds and allow yourself some quiet moments to grieve. But, if you are in a cubicle or an open space what can you do? The washroom is an option to clear your mind and splash some cold water on your face, or maybe take the stairs of your building and go for a much needed early lunch break.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\nDon\u2019t Blame the Job<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nIt is common for people mourning a death\u00a0to project their sad or angry feelings onto the people and places around them. Often those who have experienced a death in the family want to flee from their routine entirely. They feel too many triggers or memories associated with their loved one. \u00a0Ask yourself if before the loss you were happily fulfilled at work?\u00a0If you only loathe the job now<\/em>\u00a0it might be beneficial to take a step back to analyze if there\u2019s a valid reason to quit. It could be part of your grieving process and really has very little do with the organization or your role. So talk to close friends, family, and co-workers before making any hasty life changes. If possible, give yourself a time to adjust to your new normal before making any huge changes personally or professionally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Note, years after publishing this blog article, I came across “It\u2019s Time to Rethink Corporate Bereavement Policies<\/a>” in Harvard Business Review (Oct. 2020) so I’ve added it as a potential resource.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Want to discuss any of this information?<\/strong> Please feel free to contact me by email<\/a>, phone<\/a>, or via direct message on Twitter<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>, or LinkedIn<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Be Honest<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nA death in your family or the loss of a loved one is not the time to bottle up your feelings and\/or needs. It is crucial that you be real with your staff, and or superiors about what you can handle, even if this shows some of your (understandable) vulnerability. Being open about taking more time off might be an option, such as taking leave for your health, or vacation time if necessary. You may need to put in shorter work weeks for a while.\u00a0 Seeking extra support from a trustworthy co-worker who may be able to help by proofreading your reports or handling some of the extra workload until you can focus better may be a good short-term strategy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You Don\u2019t Have to Talk About It <\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/a><\/p>\nIt\u2019s hard enough to walk back into a work environment where everybody can see your eyes are rimmed red from days of crying. What is even tougher is trying to put on that brave face while being bombarded with sympathy and countless condolences. It might be wise to let HR or your boss know how you\u2019d like to return, or rather what you do not want to discuss with your co-workers. You\u00a0may find it less overwhelming when you let them know ahead of time.\u00a0\u00a0And, they can possibly prep the staff into a more graceful welcoming.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\nFind a Safe Space<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nJust when you thought you had no more tears left, a sad song comes on the radio from the cubicle behind you, and you can\u2019t keep the \u201cugly cry\u201d off your face. It\u2019s bound to happen. There is no shame in it. But, let\u2019s be honest\u00a0— most of us prefer to shed our tears in\u00a0private. So, if you have an office with a door that\u2019s great. Simply close it along with the blinds and allow yourself some quiet moments to grieve. But, if you are in a cubicle or an open space what can you do? The washroom is an option to clear your mind and splash some cold water on your face, or maybe take the stairs of your building and go for a much needed early lunch break.<\/p>\n
<\/h4>\nDon\u2019t Blame the Job<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\nIt is common for people mourning a death\u00a0to project their sad or angry feelings onto the people and places around them. Often those who have experienced a death in the family want to flee from their routine entirely. They feel too many triggers or memories associated with their loved one. \u00a0Ask yourself if before the loss you were happily fulfilled at work?\u00a0If you only loathe the job now<\/em>\u00a0it might be beneficial to take a step back to analyze if there\u2019s a valid reason to quit. It could be part of your grieving process and really has very little do with the organization or your role. So talk to close friends, family, and co-workers before making any hasty life changes. If possible, give yourself a time to adjust to your new normal before making any huge changes personally or professionally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Note, years after publishing this blog article, I came across “It\u2019s Time to Rethink Corporate Bereavement Policies<\/a>” in Harvard Business Review (Oct. 2020) so I’ve added it as a potential resource.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Want to discuss any of this information?<\/strong> Please feel free to contact me by email<\/a>, phone<\/a>, or via direct message on Twitter<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>, or LinkedIn<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
It\u2019s hard enough to walk back into a work environment where everybody can see your eyes are rimmed red from days of crying. What is even tougher is trying to put on that brave face while being bombarded with sympathy and countless condolences. It might be wise to let HR or your boss know how you\u2019d like to return, or rather what you do not want to discuss with your co-workers. You\u00a0may find it less overwhelming when you let them know ahead of time.\u00a0\u00a0And, they can possibly prep the staff into a more graceful welcoming.<\/p>\n Just when you thought you had no more tears left, a sad song comes on the radio from the cubicle behind you, and you can\u2019t keep the \u201cugly cry\u201d off your face. It\u2019s bound to happen. There is no shame in it. But, let\u2019s be honest\u00a0— most of us prefer to shed our tears in\u00a0private. So, if you have an office with a door that\u2019s great. Simply close it along with the blinds and allow yourself some quiet moments to grieve. But, if you are in a cubicle or an open space what can you do? The washroom is an option to clear your mind and splash some cold water on your face, or maybe take the stairs of your building and go for a much needed early lunch break.<\/p>\n It is common for people mourning a death\u00a0to project their sad or angry feelings onto the people and places around them. Often those who have experienced a death in the family want to flee from their routine entirely. They feel too many triggers or memories associated with their loved one. \u00a0Ask yourself if before the loss you were happily fulfilled at work?\u00a0If you only loathe the job now<\/em>\u00a0it might be beneficial to take a step back to analyze if there\u2019s a valid reason to quit. It could be part of your grieving process and really has very little do with the organization or your role. So talk to close friends, family, and co-workers before making any hasty life changes. If possible, give yourself a time to adjust to your new normal before making any huge changes personally or professionally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Note, years after publishing this blog article, I came across “It\u2019s Time to Rethink Corporate Bereavement Policies<\/a>” in Harvard Business Review (Oct. 2020) so I’ve added it as a potential resource.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Want to discuss any of this information?<\/strong> Please feel free to contact me by email<\/a>, phone<\/a>, or via direct message on Twitter<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>, or LinkedIn<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/h4>\n
Find a Safe Space<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n
<\/h4>\n
Don\u2019t Blame the Job<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n