{"id":7129,"date":"2017-09-09T16:53:19","date_gmt":"2017-09-09T20:53:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ioadvisory.com\/?p=7129"},"modified":"2019-03-25T10:38:07","modified_gmt":"2019-03-25T14:38:07","slug":"domestic-violence-doesnt-stay-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ioadvisory.com\/blog\/domestic-violence-doesnt-stay-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Domestic violence doesn\u2019t stay home \u2026 what you need to know about it in the workplace (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Domestic<\/a>The phrase domestic abuse often triggers images of a woman\u2019s bruised, helpless stare. It\u2019s a terrible characterization that you have probably seen on an awareness poster at a bus stop or in a commercial. It\u2019s also shown in films and on television, like a fictional horror story that can only be seen from the safe distance of a flickering screen. Yet, you just have to look at the alarming stats here in Canada to understand this isn\u2019t a faraway problem that is exaggerated through the media or an improbable threat that only seems to happen to \u2018other people\u2019 who we do not know. (For more information about the prevalence of domestic violence please see this <\/em>2016 report published by Statistics Canada<\/em><\/a>).\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Although the prevalence of domestic violence is well-documented, it isn\u2019t something that is openly discussed, especially in formal or semi-formal settings such as your place of work. I had to ask myself \u2018why not?\u2019 As a Career Coach and HR Consultant with a doctorate in Industrial and Organizational (I\/O) Psychology<\/a>, shouldn\u2019t I explore a topic that affects so many employees?\u00a0 The fact is that at this very moment someone is walking into their office after being verbally, <\/span>physically, or sexually abused by their partner or ex-partner. Most will remain silent despite access to HR and other potential support systems.<\/span><\/p>\n

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This is a topic that is uncomfortable to examine let alone resolve, but I am no stranger when it comes to tackling topics and challenges that others tend to shy away from. In the past, I have confronted issues that require more nuance, sensitivity, awareness, and most of all discretion<\/a> than typical and\/or simpler HR matters. Some of these subjects include workplace bullying<\/a> and addressing values versus politics<\/a> in the workplace.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Consequently, it\u2019s not a stretch for me to dig deeper into a crisis such as violence against women (VAW) or the more inclusive intimate partner violence (IPV) that could very well involve some of my current or future (HR or career coaching) clients. Whether the people affected disclose it or not, based on stats alone, many of us know someone in our personal or professional circles who are dealing with this troubling situation. \u00a0Although I may refer to the victims as she more often than he, I do acknowledge that these problems can affect anyone regardless of their gender identity.<\/span><\/p>\n

Common Myths and Misperceptions<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

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Before I get into describing how domestic violence can appear in the workplace, I will dispel some common myths and misperceptions that are often directed at victims of domestic violence.<\/span><\/p>\n

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  1. Myth – The victim must share some of the blame. Reality \u2013 the perpetrator can and will find ways to justify their behaviour, the victim shouldn\u2019t be blamed for another person\u2019s choices.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    1. Victims of violence are not weak or stupid for \u2018allowing \u2018 themselves to be abused. Manipulation, control, and power differentials contribute to these problems.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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      1. Just because the police were not called, or they were called but no charges were made, or there are no apparent injuries does not mean the victim isn\u2019t in critical danger.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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        1. VAW and intimate partner violence (IPV) only happens to certain \u2018types\u2019 of people. There is absolutely no specific appearance, age, or class, race etc. it can happen to people of any demographic<\/a> background.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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          Sometimes art doesn\u2019t imitate life<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

          This last myth about the existence of a specific \u201ctype\u201d of person who is the usual victim of VAW or IPV is intriguing. It\u2019s been a device or approach used in films which have<\/span>\u00a0influenced our assumptions of what abuse within a relationship looks like.<\/span><\/p>\n

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          Sometimes the portrayals are stereotypical and\/or simplified such as evil husband torments powerless wife\u2026but sometimes these films can help shed new light on the issue and inform the audience about how pervasive the problem actually is.<\/span><\/p>\n

          \"Domestic<\/a>These four films are worth mentioning:<\/span><\/p>\n