Imagine a newly appointed executive draped in the cloak of authority associated with their role. They are emulating the demeanour of a strict general, issuing commands with the anticipation of absolute compliance from subordinates.

However, when seasoned high-performing team members began to inquire, the fresh director retorted, “If we were in the army, you wouldn’t question my orders; you would simply follow them.”

On the surface, this scenario paints a vivid, exaggerated picture—an almost theatrical portrayal of leadership that often ensnares inexperienced leaders. Sadly, I’ve heard more than one person tell a similar story based on their real-life experience. But behind this stereotypical facade, astute employees will discern a more nuanced reality: an inexperienced leader grappling with the considerable challenge of assuming a role they are uncertain about while lacking the confidence and skills appropriate for their recent promotion.

Alternatively, this individual might be a seasoned yet misguided leader, someone who has occupied a position of authority for an extended period. Despite their experience, they demonstrate a troubling disinterest in understanding the basics of effective (and modern) leadership. Instead, they remain stuck in a cycle of command and control while missing out on the opportunity to evolve into a leader who truly relates to their team and drives meaningful change.

Beyond the stereotypes: the myths and realities of leadership

One of the most significant misconceptions that newly promoted leaders often face is the belief that leadership is primarily about asserting authority and issuing commands. I think this misconception stems from common stereotypes and representations of leaders as authoritative figures who dictate orders from a position of power and possess a commanding “executive presence.” Unfortunately, this approach tends to overlook the nuances of effective leadership, which involve delegating tasks and responsibilities and also fostering collaboration, inspiring confidence, and nurturing a positive work environment.

However, it’s not only inexperienced leaders who adopt a role they believe characterizes a leader. In an earlier article I wrote about leadership and self-awareness, I referenced a quote by John Dewey: “We do not learn from experience but from reflecting on experience.” This profound statement emphasizes that mere experience is insufficient; instead, true growth and learning arise from the willingness to introspect and reflect on our behaviours, values, and motivations.

Introspection is what ultimately shapes our ability to learn from experiences, preventing the cycle of repeating the same mistakes.

Veteran team members who know the ropes can easily detect when there’s a mismatch between a leader’s words and actions. They might sense a lack of sincerity and wonder if the leader can really connect with the team on a personal level. This can make the team skeptical, questioning if the leader cares, and can truly steer them toward shared goals and provide the support they need.

Silencing voices and eroding trust

When a leader is solely focused on giving orders without acknowledging or considering their team’s concerns, needs, and viewpoints, they risk eroding what little trust the team may have in them – and the organization as a whole.

Effective leadership goes beyond just assigning tasks and providing feedback. It involves active listening, empathy, and a genuine understanding of the collective interpersonal group dynamics. When a leader neglects these essential components and adopts an authoritative stance, team members feel ignored, undervalued, and overlooked.

In today’s complex workplace landscape, using an analogy like “If we were in the army, you wouldn’t question my orders” is a stark reminder of a leadership style that is not only outdated but also inherently tone-deaf. It’s indicative of a leader who lacks self-awareness of how his or her actions and behaviours impact those around them. Leadership like this lacks any ability to foster a work environment that encourages open communication, trust, and values contributions from everyone, regardless of their identity.

The absence of trust and open communication channels will create a significant barrier, hindering the flow of ideas and feedback. This lack of recognition and receptivity to the team’s concerns fosters an environment where employees may hesitate to share their thoughts or insights. All a leader is doing by embracing an outdated “old school” or “stereotypically military” analogy is risking alienating their team members and creating a culture of skepticism, where employees are more concerned with covering at work instead of bringing their best creative and innovative ideas to the table.

From novice to nuanced: crafting authentic leadership

Inexperienced leaders must recognize the difference between playing the “character” of what they think a leader should be and what authentic leadership is. This requires self-reflection and intentionally developing a genuine leadership style based on their own strengths, values, and a keen understanding of the team’s dynamics. Otherwise, their approach will seem hollow or one-sided and come across as inauthentic.

This is how a leader can lead with authenticity and sincerity, rather than taking on behaviours that they hope help them demonstrate executive presence instead of being themselves. Building confidence through continuous learning and adapting their approach based on feedback and experiences will contribute to their growth as a leader. Remembering that it’s much harder to be a good imitation of someone else than it is to be yourself may also help.

Developing leadership skills

By acknowledging the need for ongoing development and demonstrating a commitment to genuine leadership, inexperienced leaders can earn the trust and respect of their team, bridging the gap between perception and reality in their leadership capabilities.

The journey towards effective leadership involves a conscious shift in mindset. Effective leaders understand the impact of collaborating with and empowering their team, understanding that diverse voices bring a wealth of perspectives that can drive innovation. They prioritize creating an environment where team members feel heard, valued, and entrusted to contribute their unique skills to the collective success of the organization.

Most importantly, it should feel genuine and natural. Trying to be someone you’re not is challenging to maintain and will only strain your energy and mental well-being. Besides, most people can spot a phony a mile away, and inauthenticity will undermine your influence and impact as a leader.

Did this article spark any career-related questions, plans or concerns?

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If you enjoyed this topic or are interested in ongoing professional and leadership development, you’ll also enjoy reading or listening to How to Be Resilient in Your Career: Facing up to Barriers at Work, my book that was published in 2023 by Routledge. It’s available in print, as an eBook, and on Audible.

More than career coaching, it’s career psychology®.

I/O Advisory Services Inc. – Building Resilient Careers and Organizations ^TM.